(Almost ten years later, I learned that the “good ones” were not all taken, and Iwisely and very happily married Dave Goldberg.)Like me, Gayle Tzemach Lemmon, deputy director of the Council on Foreign Relations’ Womenand Foreign Policy Program, was encouraged to prioritize marriage over career. As, “When I was 27, I received a posh fellowship to travel to Germany to learn German andwork at the Wall Street Journal.… It was an incredible opportunity for a 20-something by anyobjective standard, and I knew it would help prepare me for graduate school and beyond. Mygirlfriends, however, expressed shock and horror that I would leave my boyfriend at the time to liveabroad for a year. My relatives asked whether I was worried that I’d never get married. And when Iattended a barbecue with my then-beau, his boss took me aside to remind me that ‘there aren’t manyguys like that out there.’ ” The result of these negative reactions, in Gayle’s view, is that many women“still see ambition as a dirty word.”
Many have argued with me that ambition is not the problem. Women are not less ambitious thanmen, they insist, but more enlightened with different and more meaningful goals. I do not dismiss ordispute this argument. There is far more to life than climbing a career ladder, including raisingchildren, seeking personal fulfillment, contributing to society, and improving the lives of others. Andthere are many people who are deeply committed to their jobs but do not—and should not have to—aspire to run their organizations. Leadership roles are not the only way to have profound impact
with her, he would
sanction everything at oncehe answered.
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